What I gifted myself this Mother’s Day
As soon as the Easter celebration ends, almost all stores start advertising for Mother’s day. Moms get bombarded with commercials and promotions about products which they may or may not need. Bloggers and social media influencers start talking about things that moms love. All this buzz got me thinking about what do I want for Mother’s Day. Can you guess what I gifted myself this Mother’s Day?
Being raised in a small town in Southern India, I never knew about Mother’s Day until I joined the corporate world. In my neck of woods, moms were always given the priority. But I loved the concept of having a day to celebrate and cherish moms in our life. Just like every woman, mother’s day turned special to me after I became a mom.
On Mother’s day 10 years ago, I was a mum-to-be in my early stages of pregnancy. The very next year, I cherished the mother’s day as a sleep deprived mom. Three years later, our twins came along. Next few years had sure been a roller coaster ride!
Different Seasons in Motherhood
At one point in time, I had 3 kids under 4. If anyone had asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, I would have given them a long wish list. Eight hours of continuous sleep, no-diaper duty and take out lunch would have topped the list. If you are a new mom or have young kids, hang in there. This stage will pass!
Pre-school and Kindergarten stages of my kids are very special to me. Their cute handwritten notes with loads of spelling errors, art keepsakes and most importantly the Mother’s day special project that they bring from school would make me smile and fill my heart with joy.
I loved how my kids would come home excited every day to tell about their secret project that they are working on. “I can’t tell what it is but it is a beautiful flower you will love”. It would be fun to see them trying hard to maintain the secret yet spilling everything out in excitement 🙂
My twins will graduate from Kindergarten by end of this month. This is going to be a bittersweet phase. Baby, toddler and pre-school stages are far behind us. At this age, my kids are fairly independent. Even my soon-to-be 6 yr old twins do their work with just minimal supervision from us.
This stage of motherhood offers me the pleasure to sleep in on weekends while the kids fix their favorite cereal for breakfast. They don’t need my constant attention and I do get some quiet “me-time” when they are on their own. Boy! things have gotten much easier and the physical stress has reduced a lot.
Success in Motherhood
Since motherhood and parenting are related topics I couldn’t help remembering the podcast episode where Jody Moore talks about how to define success in parenting.
She explains that as parents we should not judge ourselves on how our kids turn out to be. We do not have to feel like a failure even if our kids choose the wrong path. You may teach good values to your kids but sometimes they may choose not to listen to you. It is what they are meant to be and there is no reason for us as parents to feel like we have got it all wrong.
I surely have felt like a failure when my kids refuse to eat veggies or when they constantly fight with each other or when they talk back. Since my kids are still young, I really don’t worry about their grades or other achievements yet. I strongly feel that this is the right time to train myself not to question my parenting skills for everything that my kids do.
As my kids grow older I want to be the parent that supports them with the choices that they make. I do not want to judge myself for how well my kids do at school or how well they play a sport or how efficient they are with other extracurricular activities.
What I gifted myself this Mother’s Day
Starting this Mother’s Day, I want to stop judging myself for how my kids are and most importantly how they will turn out to be in the future. It is not as easy as turning on a switch and will take loads of practice and failures.
I’m planning on reflecting these thoughts every Mother’s Day and see how much I grow as a parent enjoying the journey of motherhood without self-judgment and guilt.
How did you stop judging your parenting skills? Mamas, please share your inputs. I would love to hear from you!