Her Success Is Not Your Failure
Have you ever felt like a failure after seeing others achieve their milestones? Does your inner critic come out with vengeance criticizing how you are wasting your life and not ACHIEVING anything? If you are like me, then this should be our mantra – Her success is not your failure.
Work in progress 🙂
I’m trying to be a better version of myself every single day. Just like James Clear says in his book Atomic Habits, am trying to be 1% better each day. Taking it slow, feeling the emotions, and then forgiving myself for my self-deprecating talk.
I understand that comparison is the thief of joy and I wholeheartedly wish good for my friends and acquaintances. While I’m genuinely happy for them, I also hear my inner voice calling me a failure doing nothing appreciable. It leaves me drained and exhausted.
This past year, during the quarantine period, many of my friends used their time efficiently. Some reduced their weight, some took e-courses, a few opened youtube channels, some cleared tests and received online certification, and so on. I felt like I was a failure doing nothing beyond the mundane tasks of household chores, kids’ schooling, and work from home!
Reflection and Realization
I’ve been eating healthy, going for walks, and exercising 2-3 times a week. I’m in no way close to my friends who diligently workout every day. Their before/after pictures on social media would motivate me and I would start pushing myself to do more. Only to end up being sore and tired with no energy left to do the rest of the tasks on my to-do list. I would feel like a loser never being able to shed those 5 pounds that I have been trying hard to lose.
It was during my physicals, I realized that I was using the wrong measuring stick 🙂 During my previous annual checkup, my doctor had prescribed me over the counter medicines and a few vitamins for certain deficiency. But in 2020, my doctor was happy to mention that I no longer needed medication/vitamins! I had also lost a couple of pounds! My doctor’s visit made me realize I was healthier than I was in the past year! And it hit me that I was using others’ scales to measure my success.
Gratitude brings peace
We may not do great things, but we can show gratitude for the little things that we do every day. When I casually scroll on my social media feed and see a friend share her milestone or success, I wish her good luck and try to see what I can learn from her. And before that sneaky inner voice starts to criticize me, I take a deep breath and say my mantra. Repeat after me – Her Success is not my Failure!