7 Simple ways to nurture self love
Do you struggle with low self esteem? Are you your own worst critic? You are not alone. Sadly millions of people, especially women struggle with self worth.
Why do I talk about self love?
Because I’m a victim of self hate. Yes, I have struggled with self esteem and self worth. I was raised in a family where my father would always belittle me. To him I was bookish and cannot figure out anything on my own. He never missed an opportunity to point out how I lacked everyday life skills. Sadly over the years his opinion about me become my own inner voice.
Whenever I received genuine compliments from friends, family or co-workers,I would dismiss it with – “Oh, it’s nothing great. Anybody could do this” reply. I would cringe to hear compliments and would question myself “Is this a joke? Am I even worthy enough to be receiving the praise?” My inner mean voice would brush off the compliments and as a result I have always sold myself short.
What is self love?
In this article from mind valley blog the author talks about what self love is and what self love is not. To me SELF LOVE is accepting our-self for what we are. Being happy and content about our-self. SELF LOVE is not about showing off or boasting. SELF LOVE is being happy and confident in our own skin.
You need to unlearn what you have learned (over the years about yourself).
Yoda
Yoda is right! In my case, my father has been virtually living in my head and talking the talk. I had to stop that mean voice and learn my self worth step by step.
I want to silence my inner critic. But how?
I hear you,
Please note that things do not work like a switch. One cannot expect things to change over night. We need to be persistent in our efforts and be patient enough to see the change.
Here are 7 simple and doable ways to nurture self love.
- Use Positive Affirmations
Write something good about yourself on post-it notes and leave them on the kitchen counter, office desk or on your bathroom mirror. Read out loud the affirmations with confidence every time you see them.
- Positive thought to replace the negative ones
Filling your day with affirmations will help but it would not avoid the negative talk in your mind. Whenever you catch yourself using negative words, make sure to add a positive thought as well.
- Ask your partner or a good friend to give a list of things that they love about you
I was surprised to see many items on my list which I would otherwise never paid attention to. We are our worst critic. Thankfully our loved ones do not see us the way we see ourselves. Trust me, you will feel happy to read what they have to say.
- Mindset Change
Self love comes with realizing self worth. Adding skill-set to the resume or a change of job or losing 10 pounds may temporarily boost self esteem. But it will not last for long unless the change comes from within. Make peace with yourself and accept the unique person that you are.
- Ditch Perfection
There is no absolute value to measure perfection. Replace perfection with personal best. For example, instead of making multiple revisions to come up with a perfect post I choose to give my personal best. There will be people that do things better than us. But our presence in this world is unique. Give your best and move on.
- Practice Self Care
Indulge in simple acts of self care everyday like –
a. Setting time to take multi-vitamins.
b. 5 – 10 mins of meditation or Yoga nidra.
c. Brisk walk around the neighborhood or any other form of physical exercise.
d. Getting enough sleep and taking naps if possible.
e. Drinking water and keeping hydrated.
Self care can vary depending on our life’s season and family needs. Every few months make a list of simple things that can make you feel happy and relaxed (other than chocolates of course 😉 ). Implement them everyday to show respect to yourself. This will help boost self worth and eventually self love. - Gratitude
I cannot stress enough about the gratitude practice. Gratitude brings contentment and happiness. Meditate on this mantra “Am enough and I have enough”. Once you have contentment then there is no room for self hate. Gratitude practice can help you stay away from the emotional trap of shame and self hate.
If practicing self love can bring change in me, I promise it should work for you as well. But remember consistency is the key here. In-case you fail couple times, do not get into the viscous cycle of guilt. Give yourself grace and start again. Good luck my friend!
What a lovely and inspiring post, Anu. Keep up the great work.
Thank you so much for the sweet comment DevaJani 🙂